So here's the ChangingMinds Blog, from site author, David Straker. This is my more
personal ramblings, though mostly about changing minds in some shape or form.
Please do add your comments via the archive or the right-hand column below. -- Dave
Friday 15-August-08
Ten thousand emails
I randomly went back the other day and looked at how many emails I have sent
since I started using Outlook in 2002. The number had just passed 10,000. This
is home email, I'm talking about, not that at work, which is probably up to ten
times more. And when you factor in emails to distribution lists, you can
multiply that again. Then look back to former years -- I've been using email
since the 1980s. Overall, I bet I've sent over a million emails so far.
So have I changed the world? Probably not, but maybe some of the messages
have helped others change. Persuasive talk also has an effect on the talker, so
maybe also some have also changed my mind. Many, however are gentle
chit-chat with friends, sustaining networks and my sense of
identity.
The world is powered by
communication and the internet is a marvellous
facilitator. Of course it's also an intrusion and much abused by spammers. Used
well, email is a powerful persuader, but often it is poorly used and the lack of
accompanying body language makes it a potentially poor medium.
I saw a splendid little quote recently: 'Remember: your inbox is not your
to-do list.' True, but often forgotten. We are sometimes so driven by the
immediacy of email that we forget the more important things in our lives.
Overall, email is a blessing and a curse. I have send many and received
many more. The ultimate test is perhaps whether, if I had a magic wand, I would
do away with it altogether. On reflection, I think not.
Your comments
Have you ever considered how many messages you get a day or a year from
advertisers in all its forms and mediums (TV, Print, Billboards, Internet, etc)?
In particular how they suggest to you how uncool, imperfect, inadequate,
insecure, unfashionable, in the wrong place, not having the right tasting foods,
not in the right place, tired, depressed, unfulfilled, etc, you are? These
messages must have so affect one's self esteem and mood, or at least
subconsciously, when bombarded with them constantly on a daily basis? I make
this comment as I recall hearing a lecture once where the speaker made the
remark about the terrible effect this must be having on young people as they are
probably getting at least 20,000 messages like this a year or more.
-- Colin
Dave replies: Indeed, Colin. Everything has some impact, and advertising does often use
negative tensions. There again, we are remarkably adaptable and we can become
immured and numbed by it all. Like with news, drama and video games, where
scenes of horror, once sickening become bland.It is perhaps also
interesting how each is affected in very different ways.
Wednesday 13-August-08
Sensory deprivation on the BBC
I watched a BBC programme recently on sensory deprivation in which people
were put into moderate sensory deprivation environment for just 48 hours.
The subjects were very varied: A stand up comedian, a psychology Ph.D.
student and an extreme (100 mile) marathon runner were put in a dark room with a
bed. They could stand or lie as they like. It's black for them but we can see
with an infra-red camera.. The Ph.D. student very quickly thought her sheets
were wet. They were dry, though a bit cold. After a while she settled down.
An ad executive who regularly mediates and who dreams of being a hermit was
tried out, along with two others in a parallel experiment with padded clothing,
a fogging mask and white noise through headphones.
Most people quickly fell asleep, almost as a way of coping. but then they had
to cope with the boredom and, guess what, lack of stimulation. The ad executive
thought it was cool and started out meditating for quite a while.
Within 24 hours, several subjects started to get twitchy. Including the ad
executive. Several started pacing up and down just to create some form of
stimulation. One person coped by singing. Another just stayed asleep through the
whole thing. After about 30 hours, one guy started hallucinating, seeing a big
pile of oyster shells. A woman saw lights, zebras and other odd things. Another
chap thought the room was flying and saw fighter planes.
Pre-and post-tests were done to test visual memory, information processing,
verbal fluency, mental dexterity, suggestibility, recall. Visual memory dropped
by up to 36%. Information processing was severely affected, and up to six times
as many mistakes were made (extraverts were particularly affected).
Interestingly, suggestibility increased significantly in the men, but the
women's suggestibility did not change. All pointed to deterioration in the
ability of the mental central executive. In other words, they found it harder to
think and solve problems.
In real life, Bryan Keenan, who was imprisoned in Beirut, in the dark, for many months told
of cat-napping, sleeping fitfully. He started wondering if he was alive. He
hallucinated being in the desert and the wind stripping off his flesh. He heard
music, which got louder the more it frightened he got until he banged his head
against the wall repeatedly to try and make it stop.
In America alone, there are 20,000 people kept in solitary confinement. One
former prisoner told of telling how he spent 15 days at a stretch (the maximum
legally allowed before a break) in a standard isolation cell over much longer
periods. He 'went away in his head' to cope, but found a problem where he
couldn't stop going there. Sometimes he would wake up sitting cross legged on
the floor to find himself rocking and with sores on his legs from being like
this for so long. He would pace three steps then back, repeatedly, until the
pain stopped him. After 18 years, he was released when it was established someone else
committed the crime. He lost the ability to follow simple directions. He cannot
drive on a busy street. Too much stimulation overwhelms him, even after 10 years
of freedom.
Friday 08-Aug-08
Cruise dues
I've recently come back from a cruise up the Norwegian coast and into the
Arctic (here's the blog)
where, apart from enjoying the holiday, I also had an interesting time studying
the methods used on board to separate you from more of your money.
Theoretically, it's all-in and you do not need to pay for anything. However,
there was a lot of opportunities to spend. First, you do not use real money, but
electronically attach your cabin key to your credit card, making spending easy.
Then there are endless shore excursions at rather high prices. We went on one to
a remote glacier, but otherwise managed our own tours, for example walking to
town rather than paying $12 for a five-minute bus ride.
At breakfast, a waiter would turn up at your table, freshly-squeezed orange
on tray, and ask if you would like it. Having said yes, you have then mentally
closed and
when they ask for your cabin card it can seem difficult to back out. The same
happened later in the day with wine and other alcohol. Bringing your own booze
on board was strictly banned, including threat of kicking you off the ship.
There were, of course, a range of shops on board, several selling luxury
goods, though prices weren't too bad there. They also held 'sale days' and
auctions to tempt you in. There was also a sizeable casino which seemed to be
busy at all times of the day and night. There little sadder a sight than a lone
person mechanically feeding a slot machine.
Finally there was the 'tipping' policy, which included a suggested daily
rate for a range of people from your cabin attendant to the maitre d'.
A note buried in all the other information said that, if you didn't object,
they'd just charge your credit card to save you the effort.
Must of this was described as 'seagoing tradition', another neat coercion
device, with the implication that if you 'break from tradition' you are somehow
breaking some sacred sailor's law and are a dangerously bad person. Ships have
historically been little worlds of their own where the captain has power of life
and death. Blind obedience may be necessary in a storm, but obediently handing
over your money is a different matter.
All-in-all, pretty tricky waters to navigate and I'm sure many guests spent
more than they expected to spend. I just danced around the waiters and tipped
what I thought was reasonable, giving more to those who helped me more, which is
what it's supposed to be about.
Having said all this, we had a wonderful time. The crew were endlessly
helpful, the entertainment very good and the food wonderful. And that was before
we'd gone ashore. Cruising is actually a cheaper option for touring Norway,
where on-land prices can be prohibitively high, but some methods of parting you
with your money are, I think, somewhat unfair.
Friday 25-July-08
Religions and abuse
There is a simple pattern that recurs across many religions, minor and major,
where a faith that preaches care and compassion leads directly to the abuse of
innocent and vulnerable people. As I write this, for example, the Pope is in
Australia, apologising for priestly lapses.
The religions or groups typically preach love and happiness. This is
particularly attractive to young people cast out in a scary world, for whom a
caring community is a welcome haven and seems an ideal family substitute. The
groups also preach absolute truths and often expect unquestioning obedience.
Followers accept this as it provides certainty and stability in an otherwise
uncertain world.
No harm so far, but what happens too often is that this combination often
attracts vulnerable and impressionable young people, which then, as surely as
the spider follows the fly. attracts those who would take advantage of these
innocents. These predators cloak themselves well, often getting to more senior
positions before they begin their more insidious work. In a position of
authority and 'wisdom' they can then get close to their victims and make their
requests seem natural and necessary.
I have seen this happen twice with my daughter. She joined a
Buddhist group as it aligned with her philosophies. The senior people in the
group were pleased at such an enthusiastic acolyte, and one older guy (of about
my age) showed particular interest, but then started calling rather too
frequently. She's read up on cults and recognised the signs, but despite
avoiding him he still persisted. She also found he'd taken an amorous interest
in other young women. Not to be messed with, my daughter went to the police, who
were very helpful. Unfortunately others affected were too timid to speak up. The
guy got a warning from the police and eventually backed off but it could have
got more serious.
The other incident was with a younger guy in the group who she went out with for a while.
After splitting up, she noticed how he was using his position and charisma to
get what he wanted. Not as serious as the older guy but still a questionable use
of power in a context where there are many vulnerable and impressionable young people.
This affects other religions too -- just look at the sexual scandals in
churches, where the power of a trusted position is subverted to selfish
hedonistic pleasure. The patterns are sadly human and too common, as power
corrupts and the vulnerable suffer. The sadder fact is that religions and cults,
where idealism is sought, can be magnets for both the innocents and abusers.
Even sadder is where the group covers up and downplays such incidents,
particularly after the offenders express 'remorse' (so they may be forgiven).
The two guys who affected my daughter are still there, and may well prey on
others into the future. I was tempted to take direct action, but she handled the
situation well and gained much more than if I had waded in.
The Pope's apology is important. The people at the top must recognise and
address the seriousness of this terrible breach of trust. It helped my daughter
that the police took a keen interest and their action was powerfully preventive.
The sad lesson for those who might be victims is one of caution and constraint in trust, which must always
be earned and never given blindly.
Your comments
In my younger days, I too had my share of over zealous religious
'evangelist'. Yet, I ponder if its a thin line between passion and conviction
versus trust and respect. In this age of much complexity,
extrinsically-motivated lifestyle where people fall into a state of apathy, I
wonder then if people are hiding behind a curtain of denial to search for what
may fill our inner thirst. In full agreement with what you have written, I am
reminded that Man, regardless of whatever religion, is still fallible. I
recently witness a fight during a gay parade of two parties wondering
essentially are we talking about religion, man's needs or what?
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1092843&id=748497641#pid=1092888
-- John Y
I have two observations on this item, if only to broaden the perspective.
The first is the concept of cults and cult tactics. One common tactic is to
isolate the member from friends and family. Loners make easy prey. Perhaps, by
coincidence or design the age difference in one the pending relationships
mentioned (genuine or otherwise) often isolates both parties from all but the
most understanding of friends.
However this also points out how larger groups also display these isolation
tactics. In the "old" days prominent people seeking divorce amounted to social
suicide for their families.
The second note is that apparent age of either party may mean little with
romantic friends. Many young (mostly) men or boys while apparently youthful will
display traits learned from much older friends or relatives when dating. So
tragic when often a teenager is as cold, harsh or even as abusive with his
girlfriend as a frustrated older man would be.
Peter
Dave replies: Indeed, isolation is
often the first tactic. We take a lot of cues from people around us and if you
remove 'sensible' cues then we'll just go along with whatever game is in town. I
guess it's a continuing pattern too. Families can behave 'strangely' when
strange is the norm. My own family is slightly eccentric and happy to be so
(being a bit weird frees you from some of the stricter social norms :).
I agree with John Y.
If ever I feel uncomfortable in any given situation I leave; possibly making it
known for my suspicions. The whole world is about blaming, while those perv's
are still lurking every where and any where like vultures searching a weak link
to any thing available. There is such a thing as education in the home, with me
it's called"GUT FEELING's" Because the world is moving so fast every one needs a
crutch, weather it be booze, drugs, cigs. sex, church etc. we need that extra
boast to stay sane in an insane world so to speak...
Peace.
-- Jane J
Wednesday 23-July-07
Don't fire your bad customers!
In recent years, it has become received wisdom to get rid of customers who
are costing you more to maintain than they bring in with revenue. A typical such
customer buys a cheap product but then complains and phones to the extent that
any profit is quickly wiped out. For the worst of these this is a pathological behaviour and, whatever you do, it never seems to be enough. In the past ten or
twenty years, customer relationship management (CRM) software has allowed firms
to identify low and negative value customers and enabled them to be sidelined or
even 'fired'. Yet a recent
Wharton study has shown that this can be the wrong thing to do.
The bottom line of the research is that if you fire all your lower value
customers or even work hard to turn them into good value customers, then your
competitors may target you as an easy place to raid for higher-value customers.
Increasing the overall value of your customers, however, cannot be all bad,
surely? What the Wharton profs suggest is a two-pronged strategy. First, if your
lower-value customers are not ready to trade up, then retain them with simpler
services that meet your pocket. Secondly, work hard to deliver value to your
higher-value customers to ensure they are not easily tempted away.
There have been some interesting follow-on comments from the Wharton readers, several of whom
scoff at this advice, for example noting that low value customers may one day
become high value. There are also notes about success in hiking prices, so
lower-value customers either pay and stay or leave of their own accord.
In any case, what to do with the bottom end of your customers is a tricky
question to which there is not always an easy answer. My counsel would be to get
inside their heads, understanding why they are low value (including whether they
perceive you as low value) and then figure out a way forward.
Friday 18-July-08
The price of wine
Do you think expensive wine tastes better? Apparently most people do. A study
at the California Institute of Technology showed that people liked expensive
wine more, even when it was the same wine. Caltech used brain scans to show that
pleasure centres in the brain light up more when drinkers are told that the wine
is more expensive.
Researcher Antonio Rangel and colleagues asked 20 people to sample wine while
undergoing functional MRIs of their brain activity. Their subjects were told
they were tasting five different Cabernet Sauvignons sold at different prices.
In reality, a $90 wine was provided marked with its real price and again marked
$10, while another was presented at its real price of $5 and also marked $45.
The subjects' brains showed more pleasure at the higher price wine in all cases.
To confuse things further, when subjects did not know any prices, they rated
the $5 wine as better than the more expensive wines.
The effect has also been found elsewhere, such as food served in salubrious
surroundings tasting better, albeit without the brain scans that objectively
prove that the brain is playing along with the belief.
'Neuroeconomics' studies brain-money connections, and has identified three
broad categories: a CMU study of 13,000 found that 15% were spendthrifts
who enjoyed spending, 25% were tight-wads to whom it gave pain, and the
remaining 60% fell in between the two.
The wider implication is that belief works at strong biological level -- if
you can get a person to believe something different, their brain will provide
full support!
Your comments
This is both disquieting and reassuring. Why the dichotomy?
Well, firstly, I enjoy wine. It's disquieting that my enjoyment might be
price-based - especially as I'm currently confined for financial reasons to
stick to the lower price range (up to about $8 or $9 per bottle).
Secondly, it implies that I should increase my own prices as that could lead to
more satisfied clients (also a more satisfied wife and a happier bank
manager...). In fact, now I reflect on this, I do find that the clients who pay
least ('cos I'm a nice guy and only charge what I think they can afford) give me
the most grief in terms of expectations.
-- Laury B
Dave replies: Useful point, Laury! So maybe this blog will help you become a little
richer, which would be a very Good Thing.
I remember a 'Business rescue' TV show some years ago where a cider
company was turned around just by putting the cider in fancy bottles and
doubling the price.
To me wine is wine no matter how much it cost it all taste good to me.
-- Diesel
day -January-08
Speed dating
There's a fascinating recent phenomenon known as 'speed dating' that seems
popular with the young and has caused shock-waves in the more conservative
segments of society. Whilst I am happily married and not into dating, I was
curious enough to do a little research to find out what it is all about.
The basic issue is that 'you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your
prince.' In other words, finding a suitable partner is a hit and miss affair
that may take years and involve messy failures. The 'good enough' principle of
previous generations is not good enough for many current daters who have been
brought up with many advantages and perhaps expect 'perfection on a plate.' They
are impatient in seeking a perfect partner and speed dating is just one way of
'getting to base 2.'
The process of organised speed dating seems to be to get two equal groups of
men and women (assuming it is a heterosexual session) who, if possible, have
been matched to be broadly compatible. Each pair then meets for a defined period
(typically around five minutes) in which they have the opportunity to size each
other up before moving on to chat to someone else. When everyone has met
everyone, desired follow-ups are given to the organisers, who use this to
facilitate the next meeting (if both parties are still in agreement).
There are multiple variants on this theme. But the basic idea of 'try before
you buy' in a safe setting speeds the initial 'do I fancy him/her' decision
without the normal social footwork needed to get to speak and then to back out
gracefully or go for the full date.
Some folks, I'm sure, are appalled just at the notion of speed dating, and I
certainly raised an eyebrow when I first heard the term. But when I read about
the reality, it just seemed like a practical and useful idea. .
Wednesday 09-July-08
Influencing politicians
I have, on occasion, had some interesting conversations with people whose
jobs involve a significant degree of interaction with politicians and who
regularly express frustration about how to change their minds. To get to the
root of this thorny problem, as with other persuasive situations means figuring
out how the political mind works.
The stereotypical politician has high control needs and an ego to match and
there is often a lot of truth in this. Reality is, however, more complex and
politicians may also be fired up about achieving lofty social goals. In a harsh
political environment, however, every politician must be actively concerned
about their reputation, both with the voters (and the intermediary media) and
with other politicians whose support they need both for achieving higher goals
and also for basic political survival.
Influencing politicians often means getting them to use their
power to enact,
create, change or block laws. A politician's power is largely in their ability
to influence other politicians, and your goals may need to take this into
account.
At it's most basic, there are two simple things that a politician needs: to
look good and (particularly) not to look bad. These needs can be influenced a
simple carrot and stick approach, although some subtlety is needed in their
application..
Even more fundamentally, politicians need to be re-elected, and anything that
makes them look good to their electorate is music to their ears. If they can be
seen as a strong battler or championing popular causes, then they will likely
support what you are proposing.
Mud sticks, and politicians know this well, and they can be very risk-averse,
carefully scanning any proposals for potential reputational damage. Who is to
blame if things go wrong (as they often do in political spheres where there are
so many fingers in the pie) is thus a critical question to answer.
The best proposal you can offer, therefore, is one where the politician gets
all the glory whilst someone else carries all the risk. You can also use this in
reverse, showing the personal risk in actions you do not want the politician to
take, or where they will get little credit.
One final negotiable you can use with politicians is power itself --
something that politicians can never get too much of. If you can show that an
action will result in the politician gaining power, or at the very least not
losing it, then they are more likely to support your cause.
Your comments
Couldn't be any further from the truth!
-- M.W.
Dave replies: Splendid! A difference of opinion. Would you care to explain further? I'm always
open to having my own mind changed. If you have experience or evidence, I'd be
delighted to hear it.
Well, I suspect M. W. is a politician him or herself, because there's a lot
of truth in your template, David, in my experience. I worked with politicians
for years in my previous career, albeit mostly at a local politics level, and
your framework rings true to me. I do suspect M.W. is a politician.
-- Phil Dourado
A very successful local politician once listed the three jobs (i.e. duties)
of a politician:
1) to get elected
2) to get elected
3) to get elected
and, he continued, if there were a fourth duty it would be to get elected.
Can't say he wasn't honest.
Not much point for a candidate to be skilled, loyal and hard working if he or
she can't win an election.
Ironically those that are so cynical of politicians expect so much from them,
as if appointees and civil servants are above nepotism and corruption.
The dilemma of democracy is that the electorate have only themselves to blame
for bad leadership, non?
Peter
Dave replies: There seems to be a common apathy about electorates, borne of individual
thinking. 'What can I do? I only have one vote.' Many have difficulty thinking
collectively. And they often know so little about who they are voting for. It is
not uncommon for the 'better person' to be standing for a party with whose
national policies you do not wholly agree...
Friday 04-July-08
Micromanagement
There is a style of management with which many are familiar and which has
acquired the name 'micromanagement'. The manager in question acts as if the
subordinate is incapable of doing the job, giving close instruction and checking
everything the person does. They seldom praise and often criticise. Whatever
their subordinates do, nothing seems good enough.
For the individual, this tends to be incredibly frustrating. They are being
treated as if they are incapable and untrustworthy. We often see ourselves as
others see us and, when treated as unworthy, we will soon feel unworthy. In
this way, people who are micromanaged can become dependent, unable to make the
smallest decision without asking their manager. Alternatives to this total
submission, which many take, include remaining frustrated or leaving. In any
case, it is easy for one's confidence to be severely knocked.
Why do managers micromanage? There can be a number of reasons. First, they
may reasonably not trust the person either because there is evidence to support
this or because the newness of the relationship has not yet yielded evidence to
support trust. There might also be a high-risk situation which merits extra
management attention.
A more likely explanation is an internal need for the manager to manage
closely. They may fear failure personally, transfer that risk to the person then
take ownership of the person's work. The manager may also feel (or want to feel)
superior to the person, effectively confusing authority with ability. The person
thus seems incompetent and the manager looks for confirmation of this in the
smallest details of the person's work. A minor error is thus taken as evidence
of the person's total incompetence and the manager's obvious superiority. This
can be a reversal of a childhood situation with a critical parent. Just as the
abused become abusers, so also may the criticised become critical.
Micromanagement also plays to strong identity and control needs. Telling
people what to do and not do is a strong
controlling action, whilst the sense of
superiority strokes the identity ego.
So what should you do when faced with a micromanager? The first thing is to
recognise that it is their issue, not yours. However, this disability
means they lack certain abilities and because of your situation, you are going
to have to handle it. The simplest approach is to listen patiently and
attentively when they tell you what to do (they hate being ignored). If you
really disagree with what they are saying, ask politely for their reasons or
explain your concern and ask for their advice. Quietly and carefully ensure you
cannot be blamed for the micromanager's decisions (it can be useful to keep
notes in case of later disagreement).
You can give them feedback (through a third party, if necessary) about how
they are behaving and how this makes you feel. Some micromanagers do not intend
to act this way and will make genuine attempts to improve. Many, however, will
feel slighted and the result can be unhelpful. In consequence, think carefully
before using this approach.
A reversal can be an interesting alternative, effectively, micromanaging
them. Book their time to agree what you will be doing. Agree in detail what you
will be doing. Let them make every decision. Then do exactly what they said and
report back that you have done it. Go back often to check for new each decision.
In the end they may tire of your constant attention and tell you to back off.
You can also pre-empt and prompt this by occasionally asking if your approach to
managing the detail through them is ok and whether they'd prefer you to decide
more things yourself.
Another approach is to use their control and identity needs as levers. Use
these as punishment and reward, carefully removing control and isolating them,
or giving feedback that shows they are in control and are wonderful. For example
when they over-control, avoid them, whilst when they give you more space, even a
little, look at them and smile (identity stroking). Be very subtle in all this
-- if the micromanager feels micromanaged, they will react strongly.
In this way you will feel more in control yourself even as you give them a
greater sense of control. Living with a micromanager need not be painful and
it can be an interesting challenge.
Wednesday 02-July-08
(Not) good enough thinking
This week I went to another stimulating RSA
lecture in which Matthew Taylor was wondering whether and how advances in
neuroscience could or should change how we think, even to our conceptions of
self. David Willetts, MP, responded from a more economic and political
position, noting how people still use Newtonian thinking because it seems to
work, and that popular notions of the self are unlikely to go away soon.
And there, it seemed, was the knub of it. It is about 'good enough' thinking.
We use what seems to work because it is sufficient for the purpose in hand. But,
as Matthew Taylor indicated, the world is far from an OK place. We risk climate
change, resource wars and worse -- much, it would seem, due to our good-enough
thinking.
Beyond the bounded rationality of our limited reason, we have a deep failing
in our ability to think about the future. If we were told that oil would run out
tomorrow, we would panic, though when told it may be five years hence, we shrug
and fill up the 4x4 as usual. Yet some of us do worry about what will happen to
our grandchildren and the future of the human race and, like Matthew Taylor,
rail at the world that our current thinking patterns are not good enough.
A core problem, then, is how to turn good-enough into not-good-enough, which
may mean somehow bringing tomorrow's woes a lot closer to today. When tension is
inversely proportionate to distance, somehow we must close the gap.
David Willetts' argument was to change people by changing their environment.
Context creates meaning, and rather than asking people to think differently, he
proposed changing those external things that lead us to decisions.
I wondered about the potential of biofeedback in creating internal change. If
we know which parts of the brain are associated with particular thoughts, could
we not link this back to our conscious thought? Then, forewarned and forearmed,
we could disarm those daft thoughts that are driving us down the tubes. Maybe
the technology is not quite here yet and walking down the street with an MRI
scanner on our heads is a laughable infeasibility, but miniaturisation is the
order of the day.
Of course this brings up all kinds of issues and questions. Will we become
the Borg? Will governments quite literally control our thinking? Who knows. But
one day such thought may be just good enough to ensure our survival.
Your comments
The same kind of not good enough thinking applies to our food security. We
champion local food until the price goes up and then dive into ASDA for our £1 a
punnet Strawberries. OK, I am biased, running a local food company,Farm Fresh
Express, but we are losing our farms, and when they are gone who will bring them
back?
Graham Rawlinson
Friday 27-June-08
Blind motivation
Here's an interesting movie clip from 'Facing The Giants' about motivation. The frame is a coach
showing a dispirited team (and particularly a lead member) that they can achieve
more than they think if they get their heads down and go for it.
If you can look past the twanging of heartstrings, there are a few
interesting things in this clip that are significant for changing minds,
coaching and leadership:
The motivation or demotivation of a single person can seriously affect the
motivation of an entire team.
When you stop looking at what you believe you cannot do, then you can do
it.
Encouragement (positive feedback) can get people way past where they think
they can go.
When you break personal barriers you can't say 'I can't do it'.
What you can achieve ends only when you drop with exhaustion, not when you
give up.
Pushing your team, showing your passion, can create fantastic loyalty.
Sure, you could criticize some of this, but then if you're in a competitive
position (as many of us are, whether we like it or not), then defeatism can be
the vastly poorer option. Winning is a choice, just as giving up is a choice.
One is harder, but the rewards are so much greater.
Your comments
What an important and inspiring post! Too often leaders forget the basics of
engaging and inspiring the entire senior team. Too often, they lose their
balance and push more than pull, critique more than connect. It starts with a
simple concept: a mood check on yourself and on each member of your team. And
keeping in mind the vision of what can be, translated into meaningful tangibles
for each member.
As to your point about going beyond your own expectations, a visit to the
training command for U.S. Navy Seals in San Diego was incredibly instructive.
"How do you know which 50 of the incoming class of 200 or so will make it?" I
asked. "On the first day or two I can spot the roughly 5% or 10% who will make
it even if I cut off one of their limbs," said base commander, Robert Herbert.
"By day three, I know which 5% to 10% will wash out. The challenge is that the
best platoon leaders will come from the 80% in the middle. We find out who will
graduate only when we take them to what they believe are their physical and
psychological limits, then take them above and beyond those limits and they
discover how much more they have."
Positivity is a contagious spirit. So is negativity. So make your choice.
Positive outlook and expectation to succeed I think are as important as
talent itself, Maybe more, because with out those attributes, improvement would
be impossible. I don't think there is an Olympic athlete alive who became one
without the belief that he was capable.
I think the reason I like this site so much is its relevance to everyday life in
general, and the fact that our interests seem to intersect.
I've been researching ahead for pages for this site on activism, a general
discipline that seeks to change the minds of others. I found much information
out there on both reasonable and dodgy websites, ranging from civil rights to
scary civil wrongs such as fascism and anarchy. It is curious how such polar
opposites can find themselves in agreement at least in their need to be heard
and approaches to resolving this. And getting heard is a lot of what it is first
about.
Common 'be heard' activist methods include meetings, rallies and marches, in
which they can declare their message at high volume. You may not agree with
them, but you will hear them. Then they hope to change your mind, where a
key method they use is passion. When you see how convinced they are, you must
realize that there is something there worth investigating.
There's quite a lot of activist information around students, including scary
detail on how to get them involved, some of which is reminiscent of
cult methods, in which
impressionable and lonely young people are hooked with promises of friendship
and good deeds. And where better to look than a college campus at the start of
term, where thousands of anxious young hopefuls, fresh from the family nest, are
feeling their way in the world.
I did my bit of protesting when I was in college, though my motivations were
more social than idealistic. I once travelled hundreds of miles with my
girlfriend to London to take part in a mass march about something (I was never
sure quite what). In solidarity with our brothers and sisters we marched in our
hundreds of thousands, shoulder to shoulder. Until we got to Oxford Street, that
is, when we went shopping instead. We caught up with the others later, in time
to go to a pub then trek back to University, telling tales of student power and
retail therapy.
Modern activists are maybe less cynical and certainly more organized. Take
this relatively mild extract from a modern manual, where breaking laws and
causing inconvenience to others is accepted as normal behavior:
To put something up, paint the wall with a thick layer
of paste and smooth your poster over it. ... If you put the poster up well
enough the only way anyone is going to be able to take it down is by
buffing it off. If you're worried about being linked to the crime, wear
gloves and carry a plastic bag with you. If you see a security guard or a
police officer, put all your wheat pasting supplies in the bag. To make it
even less suspicious wear some nice light-colored clothing (so that the
wheat paste doesn't show up on it) and carry a Gap shopping bag. Play it
off. (from 'Anarchism in Action')
Particularly towards the further reaches of anarchy, methods are more
Machiavellian, assuming that the end justifies the means. Anarchists sadly fall
into the same traps as those they seek to depose, including massive assumptive
leaps and blind acceptance of strongly worded yet
fallacious
arguments. Never mind the logic, feel the passion!!
Your comments
Another mode of activism to consider: Being. Yes, influencing others' beliefs
by your presence, how you show up, how you physically embody your beliefs and
delivering your message from this presence, enlisting the participation from
this presence. Then teaching others how to do the same thing. This is the
message of the Strozzi Institute whose workshop I recently experienced.
I am still in the process of testing this approach in the real world. My focus
is on ethics. The media and the silent majority of CEOs have failed to play an
activist role in the declining ethics we see in all our institutions. It is my
quest to engage and inspire others to be activist in this pursuit.
-- Stephen B
Dave replies:
Good note, Stephen. 'Being' is much forgotten. There is a relationship here with
William Ury's The Third
Side, for example in the position of witness.
I couldn't agree more, Stephen. The more I experience, the more
that I believe this is the very best way to persuade. I know that with Children,
we can talk till we're blue in the face trying to advise them, based on our own
experience, but the truth is, their observation of our behavior is more powerful
than any spoken wisdom we could ever offer. My mother never told me about all of
the values of reading and learning, but I observed her love of books, and her
shelves stacked high, and the varied themes, and lo and behold, I am one of
Barnes and Noble's Best customers.
My husband was recently placed in a situation where he had to give CPR to an
ailing Scuba Diver. My children were present. As Hard as He tried, He was unable
to save the man. My children, however, were witness to an admirable effort, and
I am certain, that their presence was no accident. If they are ever in a
position, where they need to assist another, I have no doubt they will.
I have a small pillow with the words of Ghandi written on it:
"Be the Change you wish to see in the World."
My Dog often Brings it to me. It's no accident.
And Don't forget Mirroring: When one person in a room Yawns....You know what
happens next. Here is A recent Blog Post, if you are interested:
I've been re-watching the Sharpe TV movies recently, with the splendid Sean
Bean as Bernard Cornwell's redoubtable hero.
Sharpe is a rifleman in the Napoleonic wars, mostly in the Spanish campaign,
who gets promoted up the ranks after repeated heroic action, including saving
Wellington's life. With occasional injury, he dodges endless bullets in this
handsomely-produced and well-acted set of 2 hour dramas.
In many ways, Sharpe epitomises the ideal
leader. He is tough and demanding
of his small band of elite 'chosen men', but also respects and looks after them.
He leads from the front, facing the same dangers and enduring the same hardships
as his subordinates. In one episode one of his men is asked why he is so loyal
to Sharpe. He answers simply, 'He looks after us, so we look after him' What a
great description of a good leader!
The officers above him are very mixed. Some are good soldiers. Some are
dangerous and arrogant fools. Whilst Sharpe is respectful to all (at least to
their face), he is not shy about pointing out the folly of foolish plans. The
good officers respect him, whilst the poor ones detest the way he shows them up,
though when he saves their hides they often swallow their pride.
The drama is set at the same time that Nelson was terrorising the French at
sea, and in many ways Sharpe's Way echoes the reality of
Nelson's Way which
could perhaps be summarised as 'Committed Leadership.' Real commitment leads to
results, and when others see you are committed, they become more ready to commit
themselves. too. The question thus arises: how committed are you to your goals?
Friday 13-June-08
Getting your website noticed
Getting a website noticed is trick and a half that if you could bottle you
could sell for millions. There are plenty of people who will take your money and
promise the moon, but moving up the rankings and getting noticed by those who
can make a difference requires a certain magic. This week, changingminds.org got
noticed by one Guy Kawasaki
and his estimable alltop.com, a cool
collection of top sites and blogs. Will it change my world? Not immediately, but
one thing leads to another and you never know.
The real secret of success in most areas is hard work. Of course there's also
luck, but that's proportional to work. A quote I've heard more than once, and
which makes a lot of sense, is 'the harder I work, the luckier I get.' I've been
beavering away on changingminds for a number of years now, writing at least one
page every day, and luck does smile more. It's an interesting journey and I've
had some great conversations with readers around the world.
So, back to topic: how do you get your website noticed? The first answer is
to add value. Content is king and I do try to live that message. Fortunately, I
love learning and sharing, and this is a great vehicle. If you're not into
writing, then perhaps you can get your content elsewhere, as Kawasaki does in
his blog integration site.
Getting your website up Google's rankings gets things noticed and my approach
is just to be a good citizen, as in
My Adsense Secrets. There are
various deceptive mechanisms, but I reckon I'm not as smart as the Googlians who
seek to give higher rankings to real content sites.
The best recommendations come from other people, for example from people who
use stumbleupon,
del.icio.us
and other review and site-sharing systems. The web has massively amplified the
power of networking, both in the international reach and the sheer speed of
connection and propagation. Sites like
facebook
and linkedin are designed to connect
people and facilitate trust-building. Pouring your ideas down these connections
can be very significant. Though don't forget the value element: if you are not
delivering it, at best your communications won't go far, and at worst you will
get panned around the world.
Your comments
I've got to agree that being useful is a much better time
investment than trying to game a system that's designed and maintained by very,
very smart people. I'm confident in my skills, not stupid.
-- Sara
1. Start with unique content on the front end of a page.
2. You have limits with how many words you can have in your meta-tags so be
careful and use keywords or phrases with low competition have high hit to sale
ratio.
3. Submissions first to get the engines to start ranking you under your keywords
then submissions to as many engines on the correct submission date will really
help link popularity. Link popularity is how you out rank a competitor.
4. Build the HTML site map and the XML site map separate from your site -- they
overcome the limitations of your source code being a virtual index for your
site. They can help clients land on the page they ate looking for and build link
popularity faster.... That's in a nutshell, a small, nutshell on how to achieve
solid profitable rankings.
-- tievon
Dave replies: Wise advice. Many thanks, Tievon.
Wednesday 11-June-08
Coaching euphemism
Of recent years, 'coaching' has sprung from something to do with sports into
boardrooms and kitchens around the country, in its two main forms. 'Executive
coaching' seeks to help highly-paid business people to eliminate weaknesses and
better earn their salaries, whilst 'life coaching' helps more ordinary folks
cope with everyday pressures.
Many of the methods and techniques used in coaching come from the realms of
therapy and counselling, which gives a hint at the development of the industry.
For a long time people in all walks of life have realised that they have had
difficulties with a number of very human issues, from self-esteem to
communicating with others. The problem, however was that going to a counsellor
or therapist seemed like admitting to some kind of mental illness or
abnormality. With such stigma attached, it is not surprising that many chose
coping over addressing their internal issues.
But then someone came up with the brilliant idea of calling it 'coaching'. At
a stroke, the same thing was reframed from something negative to something
positive. Instead of treating mental illness or deficiency, it was now about
increasing mental fitness and honing personal skills. A euphemism is a weasel
word used to soften an unpleasant reality. A reality of life is we're all broken
and are just doing our best with what we've got, although we hate to admit this.
Happily, with coaching we never need to, at least not to those who matter most
to us and our careers.
Coaches thus become confidantes, therapists, challengers, guides or whatever
works. At the very least, they provide a welcome respite in the frantic day
where you can be yourself and sound off all you like. .
Your comments
Recently, I posted an entry in my blog comparing a good coach to a good
caricature artist. It's a gift, whether we're talking kids sports or everyday
encouragement, or paid therapeutic coaching.
Seeing potential in people, and helping them realize what value they can bring
the world by excavating it, is an admirable undertaking which is mutually
inspiring.
Dave replies: You're right, Gloria. Coaching can be very rewarding (if a bit exhausting at
times). As with all abilities, there are indeed those for whom it is more
natural. There are also gateways -- if you lack empathy, you're unlikely to ever
get good at it.
But do you think empathy can be learned? Or do you think it's purely a right
brain dominated thing? Book after book abounds, suggesting that right brain
thinking can be enhanced by nurturing the creative side, but can empathy, which
is also a right brain attribute, be developed, by developing other right brain
skills? I mean for me, when I have had the experience of being treated poorly,
it makes it all the more likely that I won't pass that treatment on to others,
because I know how it feels.
-- Gloria
Dave replies: Interesting question. Empathy is a below-the-waterline experience which is
difficult to learn. I think there is a definite natural spread, with some people
being naturally far more empathetic than others. I believe women, as a gender,
have a higher average than men. I also think it's connected with belief, which
can be changed. If you see others as objects, your empathy will likely be low
(and maybe the causal link is the other way around). If you see others as
embodied spirits, your empathy will likely be higher.
Empathy can still be learned, at the minimum as a technique, observing
body language and responding appropriately. It is founded on care. Nevertheless,
those who learn such strategies will never have the deeper natural empathy of
others.
You are on the money. "Exceptional coaching" is active listening, empathic
listening, holding up the mirror to a client, asking questions which both cause
new thinking but also which better connect the client's feelings and their
thinking and their action, suggesting frameworks for thinking. If the coach
takes his or her ego out of the picture (not feeling any pressure to be
brilliant or helpful, just being there as coach), a climate of safety and
exploration is created.
I have more than a dozen CEO coaching situations each month. Some are more
valuable to the client than others. But there is no other environment in which
they can safely be completely authentic and open.
Not one of these people is "broken." They are, however, under tremendous
pressure to perform and eager to gain any insight into themselves that takes
their behavior and performance up a notch and their discomfort down a notch.
One final note: I do not believe in therapy that ends with the speaking parts.
As the late Dr. Albert Ellis (founder of cognitive therapy) taught us, there
must be actions to try in the real world, success or setback and recovery and --
always -- learning.
I am in the process of reading a book entitled, Becoming A Person Of
Influence, by John Maxwell. I would highly recommend it. It's all about
encouraging others and being a positive influence in their lives.
One thing is for sure:
"We're Better off for all that We let in..."
Indigo Girls
-- Gloria
Dave,
Interesting post - in fact, the "coaching church" is broad enough to encompass
elements traditionally handled by religion e.g. spiritual coaching (google it!)
Yes, there are certainly traces of therapy and counseling in the coaching
toolkit, although the fundamentals are that coaching looks to the future and
doesn't aim to fix what may be "broken".
Nonetheless, some coach training schools do attempt to make a distinction
between coaching, the mental health professions and consulting. In theory, a
coach should coach and leave the client in no doubt what he/she is 'qualified'
to do.
(There may already have been cases in the US(?) where life coaches have found
themselves in legal trouble when attempting to knowingly coach people on issues
for which the medical profession has diagnosed therapy or counseling.)
This is even a risk in executive coaching - the old joke among some exec coaches
is that all executive coaching becomes life coaching after the first couple of
sessions! And they're often right.
Problem is that some exec coaches take on clients who are approaching burnout.
Attempting to deliver a ROI on the coaching fees by having such a person set
even more goals, targets etc and then coach/push to deliver can be a bad news
scene all round...
Enough of the gloom (I am a career change coach after all !) - the one skill
that I think a successful coach MUST have is an ability and willingness to
listen to the client. Goodness knows, nobody else is!
Dave replies: I agreed that whilst there's a nominal line between coaching and therapy, in
practice it can be rather hazy. I used the term 'broken' to mean imperfect, not
incapable, and there's certainly plenty of execs out there who are a long way
from perfect. I also think that most of them are doing their best and that if a
coach can help them (even if it means getting them to attend more serious
therapy), then it helps the person, their colleagues and their company.
Listening? Absolutely! It's remarkably uncommon. People say something we're off
thinking about what we want to say. The gap between listening rate and thinking
rate is startlingly seductive. Another coaching attribute that several coaches
have suggested is 'curiosity'. You have to be interested and spot odd patterns.
I'd also add care.
Thursday 05-June-08
Seeing photographs
I'm am amateur photographer, perhaps of the worst kind: one who snaps away
willy-nilly, hacks away at photos on the computer and then tortures friends and
relatives by showing them the fruits of all that hard work, angling for flattering
comments. At least I don't persist too much. After a photographic expedition
I'll wave the pictures around and then quickly move on. The good thing about
putting photos on the web these days is that all you have to do is plonk them
there then point people at them. If they want to spend time browsing them, then
they can. If they are not so keen then I don't mind. Heck I'll even accept a
fabricated 'very nice'. Maybe I'm cheap there you are.
I've photographed in bursts over the years, getting enthusiastic for a big
then putting away the camera, perhaps for months, then starting out again.
Digital photography has woken me up a bit more though I do wonder if the
zero-cost of photos means more, but not necessarily better. I do know, however,
that it makes it more enjoyable as you quickly know if you've fluffed a photo
and have time to take it again. Computer post-processing can also make up for
limitations in the field.
Perhaps what I like most is looking for pictures. I wander the streets of
London or wherever I am looking through an imaginary lens for great photos. Of
course many flash by in an instant but at least I can capture them in memory.
It's also great when a quickly snapped picture turns out better than expected
(though sadly it's often the other way around).
My latest jaunt was a half-term break with my wife to Madeira, where
photography was a holiday-enhancing activity (at least for me). If you'd care to
take a peek, here's the
photos.
Friday 23-May-08
Taxi tipping
Taxis are one of the major forms of transport in big cities and London is no
exception, where the hackney cab was originally horse drawn. Taxi drivers live
on their wits and a smarter cabbie can get better tips than other drivers.
London black cab drivers need to be smart as London is a huge and irregular
sprawl and to get their licence the cabbies have to pass 'the knowledge' test,
which requires them to memorise pretty much the entire map of London! This has
an interesting secondary effect that cabbies are often quite smart.
Which all brings me to this morning when a cabbie handed me his newspaper as
I got in the cab -- 'here, sir, would you like to read a paper?' What a great
example of setting up an exchange
dynamic! I get to read a paper for a few
minutes and he gets a bigger tip -- making it quite an expensive newspaper rental
service.
Cabbies are often chatty and friendly as they know this helps tips too. And I
guess taxi-driving is not a great career for the introverted. They will often
give good advice about what's happening. They also know there is a
brand
associated with taxis, black cabs and cabbies, which they enhance or damage with
each interaction.
All in all, they are a pretty good role model for changing minds.
Your comments
Quite interesting to know the exchange dynamic of cabbies in London. I
am in Bangalore city where new international airport was inaugurated recently
.Interested to study exchange dynamics of our cabbies operating arround airport
I will take this information to my class when i address my students on marketing
of services
