How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
Get others to agree with you through a cooperative approach, working with them rather than against them.
Offer to discuss the situation in order to work out a solution that is mutually beneficial. Seek to understand them and what they want, and to help them to understand your situation. Be creative in the possibilities you explore.
A parent listens to a child's desire for a bicycle and explains their concerns about safety. They agree that when the child passes a local riding and safety test, then they will be allowed on local roads by themselves.
A salesperson seeks first to understand a customer's business. They then discuss how the salesperson's products may help with business goals. Only then do they talk about purchases.
Rather than just spout knowledge at her pupils, a teacher engages them in conversation about the subject.
It is a common to see negotiation as a competitive process. Likewise other forms of changing minds can be treated as requiring push rather than pull. Yet a collaborative approach can often be more successful, particularly if the relationship is important and where acting deceptively or competitively could damage that relationship.
A basic principle of cooperation is that through trust, two minds are better than one at coming up with creative solutions. It also removes the destructive, deceptive element of competition that can easily lead to both people losing out in one way or another.
Cooperation is the 16th of the 64 compliance-gaining strategies described by Kellerman and Cole.
Kellermann, K. & Cole, T. (1994). Classifying compliance gaining messages: Taxonomic disorder and strategic confusion. Communication Theory, 1, 3-60