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I Want...

 

Techniques General persuasionKellerman and Cole's 64 Strategies > I Want...

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

 

Description

Get others to do as you want them to do simply by starting your request with 'I want...'.

Name items that you want. State actions that you want to do. You can also be more direct in getting them to do things by saying 'I want you to...'.

Example

I want to go to bed now.

I want you to complete this work and tell me when you're done.

Everyone else has got one. I want it and I want now!

Discussion

To want is human and natural. Nobody can stop you wanting. When you say 'I want' to other people, this can have several effects, where they can:

  • Deny you your desire, for example by saying 'You cannot have...'.
  • Ignoring your statement, either being uninterested or hoping that you will not repeat it.
  • Giving permission, allowing you to have what you want, though with no involvement by them.
  • Acting with you, helping you to get what you want.
  • Taking the 'I want' statement as a request or demand that they must fulfil, assuming they have a duty or obligation to provide for you.

Where people respond positively to an 'I want' situation it can be because your statement has positioned you as a child and them as a parent who has a duty to provide for you. 'I want' can hence be a dependency statement.

I Want... is the 37th of the 64 compliance-gaining strategies described by Kellerman and Cole.

See also

Transactional Analysis, Interpellation

 

Kellermann, K. & Cole, T. (1994). Classifying compliance gaining messages: Taxonomic disorder and strategic confusion. Communication Theory, 1, 3-60

 

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