How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
Positive Esteem From Actor
Get the other person to agree with you by promising that you will like and respect them more if they do as you say.
Be nice. Show you are a person worth being friendly with. Be interested in them. Build a desire for your esteem. Then use this method.
I like people who are big enough to apologize. Can you say sorry?
If you do this, I'll be so impressed.
You can get my respect by doing what you promised.
This principle uses the relationship between you and the other person as a part of the negotiation, promising increased liking as a part of the deal. It suggests that the relationship is important to you both, although the veiled threat of withholding your approval if they do not comply indicates that it is less important to you than it is to them.
Positive Esteem From Actor is also written as 'Positive Esteem (Actor)'.
Positive Esteem From Actor is the 33rd of the 64 compliance-gaining strategies described by Kellerman and Cole.
Kellermann, K. & Cole, T. (1994). Classifying compliance gaining messages: Taxonomic disorder and strategic confusion. Communication Theory, 1, 3-60