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Positive Esteem from Others

 

Techniques General persuasionKellerman and Cole's 64 Strategies > Positive Esteem from Others

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

 

Description

Get people to comply with your requests by showing how, if they go along with you, then other people will think better of them.

Talk about the people they know and whose respect they value. Get them to imagine how those people would react if they did as you are suggesting. You can also do the same with a more general 'everybody' or cast the person into a third party position.

Example

If you get fit, the girls will all admire you.

If you buy at this low price, your friends will all be amazed at your negotiation abilities.

Mike likes decisive people, so I guess your decision here will go a long way with him.

Discussion

People have a deep need for esteem from others, particularly those they respect. When people look up to us, we gain status, which is also a deep human need. With status, we can influence others and get what we want in the world.

Positive esteem from others also boosts our sense of identity, making us feel good about ourselves. It also helps us connect with others and get a broad sense of being a part of the wider social group.

Positive Esteem from Others is also written as 'Esteem (Positive) by Others'.

Positive Esteem from Others is the 31st of the 64 compliance-gaining strategies described by Kellerman and Cole.

See also

The Need for Esteem

 

Kellermann, K. & Cole, T. (1994). Classifying compliance gaining messages: Taxonomic disorder and strategic confusion. Communication Theory, 1, 3-60

 

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