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Positive Self-Feeling

 

Techniques General persuasionKellerman and Cole's 64 Strategies > Positive Self-Feeling

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

 

Description

Get them to comply with your request by suggesting that doing so will make them feel good abut themselves.

Show how what you are suggesting will help them or other people they care about. Point out that, although it may seem difficult, they will feel good about taking on the exciting challenge (and will be proud to achieve it). Say how others will be grateful.

A useful technique in this is to get them to imagine themselves feeling good in the future, both having agreed and having done as you suggest.

Example

If you take on this, you'll be so proud when you get through to the other end. Imagine how you'll feel when you arrive!

Michael will be so pleased. I know you want to make him happy.

I know the exercise will be tiring, but you'll be tingling by the time you complete it all.

Discussion

An important emotion for positive self-feeling is pride, feeling good at one's achievements or just being a good person. Hence when we succeed and feel good, we feel proud and a greater sense of self-worth. This is the opposite of the regret of not acting or doing the wrong thing.

Any future action carries risk, which for some people can freeze them into inaction. Your promise of self-worth and pride must be greater than the fear of failure and regret that they imagine. This means you may need to minimize anticipated regret while simultaneously boosting anticipated pride and good feelings.

Positive Self-Feeling is sometimes written as 'Self-Feeling (Positive)'.

Positive Self-Feeling is the 53rd of the 64 compliance-gaining strategies described by Kellerman and Cole.

See also

Pride

 

Kellermann, K. & Cole, T. (1994). Classifying compliance gaining messages: Taxonomic disorder and strategic confusion. Communication Theory, 1, 3-60

 

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