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Your Concern for Me

 

Techniques General persuasionKellerman and Cole's 64 Strategies > Your Concern for Me

Description | Example | Discussion | See also

 

Description

Get others to do as you request by suggesting that because they care about you, they will do as you request.

Say you know they care about you, then make your request. You can frame this as a cause-and-effect relationship (their care will cause the action you want).

Another method is to indicate that you may be harmed in some way unless they comply with your request. A reverse of this is to indicate that your success requires them to act in the way you suggest.

Example

If you really love me, you'll buy me that ring.

I know you want me to succeed. Could you buy me that expensive text book?

You don't want me to get hurt, so can I have money for a taxi? 

Discussion

Linking their concern to your desired action implies that they want you to have whatever you wish, and that it is their responsibility to provide it. This suggests a rights-and-duties relationship, where you have the right to ask and they have the duty to supply.

This method can turn into emotional blackmail, where you imply that you will harm them emotionally if they do not do as you say. This typically appears as a veiled threat, couched in terms such as 'if you'.

Your Concern for Me is the 64th of the 64 compliance-gaining strategies described by Kellerman and Cole.

See also

Cause-and-Effect Reasoning

 

Kellermann, K. & Cole, T. (1994). Classifying compliance gaining messages: Taxonomic disorder and strategic confusion. Communication Theory, 1, 3-60

 

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